Keeping it together
by Lili-812
Summary: "In this life, we only have each other," No truer words had ever been spoken," With three brothers missing, it wasn't easy to hold onto hope Mikey's pov


Hi! I just had this idea, and off course I had to try and write it. Hope it's not confusing (too much), but I expect it may be a little as not all the answers are in this chapter.

Enjoy!.

Summary: "In this life, we only have each other," No truer words had ever been spoken. With three brothers missing, hope was a hard thing to find. Mikey's pov.

&*&*&TNMT*&*&*&*

Chapter 1

Life as a ninja turtle had always had it's dangers in New York City. From the foot soldiers, Karai and the Shredder to the Purple gang, it was safe to say that I had been injured many many times and that I was use to pain.

That was why, with my body aching so fiercely that I wasn't that confused or scared. It was to be expected, even if my brothers always tried to watch my back. I breathed harshly, pain racking my body as I didn't even dare to open my eyes. I was tense, my face scrunched up in pain.

What had happened?

How had I ended up like this? My memory of beforehand was… blank. Just blank. I tried to move my head, but pain slammed into my head so hard that it left me exhausted.

Dude… what the shell?

Was I injured so badly that I couldn't remember what had happened? Panic crashed into me as I tried to remember what had happened. I breathed out sharply, so irregularly that pain swarmed my ribs and my head felt heavy.

It was then an uneasy feeling swept over me. Usually when I was hurt, my brothers would be there with me constantly, watching over me…..

Right now though, there were no comforting words, no soothing touches. Shell, there wasn't even the sound of breathing.

I was alone.

At that thought, my eyes snapped open so suddenly that I had to shut them as pain crashed into my skull again. I closed them quickly, the light hurting my eyes before slowly opening them again. With as much willpower as I could gather, I turned my head slightly, a sinking feeling crashing down on me.

My suspicions were correct. I was alone, but it wasn't only that, the lair, our home was wrecked, destroyed. Debree littered over the ground, computers smashed and signs of a fight was all around.

I tried to speak, but my mouth was so dry it was painful. While I was use to pain…. This…. This was so much different. I tried to gather my thoughts, but they kept slipping away so fast that it left me sinking downer and downer into the darkness that threatened to overwhelm me again.

Let this be a horrible dream.

Please, please let this be a horrible dream.

Please…..

&*&*&*&TNMT*&*&*&*&

_I blinked as I stared out into the sea. It was so calm, so peaceful that I wanted to swim. I should've been worried that someone would see me as I was out in the open, but at that moment, I just didn't care._

_I knew that there was something that I was supposed to remember, but it kept slipping past me. I blinked before giving a laugh. Shell, was I turning into Leo or something? When did I even appreciate nice views? I was more into playing pranks and having a good laugh. I'm sure if Raph was here, he would've made a remark about my face which I was sure was twisted up in astonishment._

_Before I could think any more (me think? Yeah right), I heard a soft rustling noise behind me. Tensing, I spun around, my hands going for my nun chucks, but to my horror I realised that I didn't have them on me. Luckily, it turned out that it didn't matter though, as a similar green face stared back at me. A grin lit up my face._

"_Dude, you scared me! Make some more noise or something next time!" I waited for Leo to lecture me on how he managed to sneak up on me, but he didn't. Instead, he stared at me with such a sad and pained look on his face that I was taken aback._

"_Uhhhh… earth to Leo?" I stepped forward, curiously studying his face, wondering what on earth could have put that look on my fearless brother. When Splinter died (There was a sharp pain at the reminder), I don't even remember seeing such a devastated look as though he was going to crumble or something. _

"_Mikey," His voice was rough, but sad. He seemed scared to step forward, which was strange as he was supposed to be fearless, so I went forward instead. He still studied my face so intently, so desperately, that I didn't know what to do._

"_Leo, what…?"I was starting to worry. I would have preferred that this was a joke at my expense… but… well….Leo didn't joke. He just didn't. Instead, his legs finally moved and he practically collapsed on me, hugging me so tightly that I seriously felt that this was an imposter._

"_Mikey…" He breathed out next to my ear. "I'm so sorry. You're my brother, my youngest brother….and I failed you…" His voice came out in a sob, his arms tightening around me. I stared mystified, completely confused and worried._

"_Dude… when have you ever failed me? You're my brother! I would trust you with my life!" I didn't understand but Leo flinched so badly and even without seeing it, I knew that Leo had such a devastated, pained and guilty look on his face._

_I tried to backtrack._

"_What I mean is, even though you feel that you failed me, I'm sure that there was nothing else you could've done," I felt like I was speaking in riddles, but as that was more Leo's territory, I hoped he understood. He faintly shook his head._

"_I wish this was real," Leo whispered so softly that I almost missed it. I wanted to step back now, a heavy feeling settling down on me, but Leo's arms were still wrapped around me. _

"_Dude….Leo….This is real," I slowly said. Leo shook his head again. "Can you feel this? Feel your arms around me, the sound of the water? How can you believe this is not real?" At this point, I was so confused. What the shell was going on? I wanted answers, but at this point, I was seriously afraid that Leo was going to break down._

"_I'm so sorry Mikey," He repeated, choking up. I frowned, disturbed. This was getting old really quickly. As I was going to say something, I looked at my arm and was horrifyingly disturbed to see that it was fading. _

"_What the shell?" I whispered as I moved away from Leo who was suddenly back to staring at me with a horrifying and devastating look._

"_No no no no," He whispered in denial. "You can't go yet, don't leave me!" _

_Before I disappeared completely, I saw Leo completely collapse in on himself… and I had to wonder…_

_Maybe this really wasn't real.  
_

_&*&*&*&*TNMT&*&*&*&*&*  
_

Waking up a second time was no easier than the first, and no less confusing. There was still the undeniable feeling of wrongness when I woke up and found I was alone and along with the pain of my wounds, I found I just wanted comfort and for someone to tell me what the shell was going on.

Shakily, I turned my head, only to throw up so suddenly; it left me dizzy and nauseous. I wretched a few more times before gasping for breaths.

_Leo…. Raph…. Don…. Where are you?_

Using the little bit of strength I still had, I rolled over and immediately wished I hadn't… though not because of the pain.

Red hair was the first thing I noticed, and I hoped… dearly hoped that it wasn't what I thought it was. _April…._ As I studied the hair in horror and fear… It was then I noticed her face which was partly covered by her hair. Her body though, was behind large parts of the wall, so I couldn't tell how well she was physically… but…she was still… so still that I really really didn't want to try and go over to her.

With sharp breaths and shaky limbs (along with pain so sharp I had to stop every time I moved for a quick break), I crawled over to April. I was about to turn her over, when I couldn't help the cry which left my lips. For Casey was right beside her, his face blank with an arm around April as though he was trying to protect her.

Immediately I noticed both Casey and April had blood surrounding both of them and that both of their chests did not rise.

They were dead.

My situation quickly seemed that much more devastating… so much more final. Sobs wracked my body, so much that my wounds ached painfully with each sob, but I couldn't stop.

Leo, Raph and Don were missing.

Casey and April were dead.

I was alone with no memory of what had occurred. Even me, the jokester was unable to find anything hopeful about this situation.

Eventually, the pain and exhaustion became too much and I gratefully succumbed to unconsciousness again and I knew that a part of me hoped I wouldn't wake up again.

&*&*&*TNMT&*&*&**&*&*

It was hot, so hot that I squirmed, but even that pained my body even more.

'_Leo_' I wanted to cry out, but I couldn't find my voice. I puffed out, breathing quickly before blearily opening my eyes, dizzily looking about, hardly registering April and Casey's still bodies beside me.

"Don…" I whispered hoarsely. "Don! Where are you?" He always made me feel better.

Where was he now?

Soon after, I only remember darkness.

&*&*&*&TNMT&*&*&*&*&*

"Oh no," A sad voice interrupted my sleep, the darkness which had surrounded me. I was too exhausted to open my eyes, to see if this newcomer was a threat. The voice did seem vaguely familiar.

"Casey…April, I'm so sorry, my friends," It was then I knew. It was Leather head. I moaned slightly, and immediately, there was silence.

"Michelangelo," His voice was welcome to the silence, but I still felt hot, very hot and I cracked my eyes open.

"Leatherhead," I groaned out. Leatherhead put his hand on my shoulder, his face looked worried and devastatingly sad.

"It's alright now, I'm going to help you," Leatherhead said soothingly. I looked at him in a daze.

"H-Help me? I'm fine," I said dazedly. "Don… Don will come," Leatherhead frowned.

"Where are your brothers?" He asked as he put his large hand on my forehead before flinching. "You've got a bad fever, we've got to cool you down…"

"My brothers…." I held onto that thought. "I want them. Why aren't they here?"

Leatherhead looked away.

"I don't know… I just don't know."

After that point, I couldn't remember anymore.

&*&*&*&*TNMT&*&*&*&*&*

_The first thing I saw was Leo, but his back was to me, his face staring down at something I couldn't see. His shoulders were hunched over, and one of his hands over his mouth. Immediately, I felt worry rise up inside of me._

"_Leo!" I called out worriedly. His reaction was surprising. He tensed up, but he didn't look towards me. "Leo, what's wrong?" _

"_Go away," His voice was low. "Your not real," I frowned, slightly offended._

"_Hey! How'd you like it if I told you that you weren't real!" I spoke defensively before a weird feeling washed over me. "Have we had this conversation before?" Can't be, I thought. I think I would remember if Leo had told me I wasn't real before._

"_I'm warning you. Go away," Leo's words held a hint of steel in them. I swallowed._

"_No way dude, you're scaring me," I said, though I was wondering if maybe I should leave him alone for a bit. Leo spun around and took out his Katana's. I stared wide-eyed._

"_Last warning," He whispered, almost coldly. I held my ground. Leo would never ever hurt me. Tthat was the one thing I was sure off. _

"_No," I held my gaze with Leo who glared back. After a second, he lowered his katana's and turned back to where he was staring. Hesitantly, I walked over before staring in shock. _

"_What the shell? Leo, dude…." I was dumbstruck, horrified and confused all in one._

_For Leo was staring at a grave which said:_

_Michelangelo Hamato_

_One of four pieces which make up a whole._

"_I…Impossible… this cant be real….this…." I couldn't get my words out. Inspiration then struck me._

"_This is a dream, it has to be," I was partially relieved at that thought. "Man, I have wacked out dreams," Leo glanced at me._

"_That's where you're wrong," Leo whispered. "This isn't your dream… it's mine," I felt slightly weirded out. "and….it's not a dream, not really," _

"_Your so confusing," I sighed. "How can this be your dream which apparently isn't a dream when I'm… well….here, thinking," Leo was shaking, and suddenly, all curiosity and light thoughts of the situation were stifled as I realised how this must seem to Leo, though as this point, I was still confused as to what was real and what wasn't._

"_Your not thinking, I'm thinking." I shook my head, trying to keep up with Leo's logic._

"_No no no, I'm definitely thinking," I said defiantly. "Like… like remember the time I stole your katana's and accidently got pizza on it, that's definitely me thinking," _

"_No, that's still me thinking," Leo's voice was solemn. "This is my mind. You are based off of my imagination, my thoughts…." _

"_Then… then ill tell you something you don't know and you can confirm it with me in the real world then!" I said stubbornly. Leo clenched his fists, almost painfully._

"_Your really determined to make me say it, aren't you?" Leo rasped out, before hesitantly turning to face me. "Y-your dead," His voice choked, and his lip trembled while I stood still… blankly._

"_Ohh…" I didn't know what to say. How do I tell him that he's completely wrong? "Nice one Leo, but… I'm not dead. I think I would know," _

"_I couldn't protect you, nor Raph and Don," He was speaking fast, frantically. "They… they stabbed you! Stabbed! …You! They took the three of us away and left you…." He was breaking up again, sobs starting to tumble out._

"_Leo…hey Leo!" I grabbed onto his shoulders. I never really was good at comforting. That was more Don's territory. _

"_I'm going to tell you something that only Raph knows. That way you can confirm with him on whether this is a dream or not," Leo stared at me agonised and I could tell he didn't believe that I was real. I knew exactly what to say._

"_About two years ago, before we had ever really gone up to the surface…. I wanted…. Needed something to connect me with them. That was why I watched tv constantly. It made me feel hope… and one time, there was this show and the main girl started cutting her wrists…." I swallowed harshly. I couldn't believe I had been that desperate back then. Leo stared at me blankly, yet I could see realisation slowly wash over his face._

"_I was curious. I wanted to know why she would do something like that…" I paused. There was a reason why I had never told Leo this._

"_Without thinking, I grabbed the first sharp thing I saw…." I bit my lip. "Your katana," Leo's face was growing with horror, fear and shock. "I put it to my wrist and started to press down, and that was when Raph came in. Ill never forget how he looked or what he said," _

"_What happened?" Leo whispered._

"_It was the first time I had ever seen such a tortured look on his face and after grabbing my shoulders and yelling at me, he said "In this life, we only have each other. We don't need to be ripped out from the inside as well," Afterwards, we both decided never to mention it ever again." I felt like Leo was going to yell at me, but he just backed away. Frowning, I looked down and noticed I was disappearing. _

"_Promise me!" I blurted out. "Promise me you'll ask Raph!" Leo stared at me, indecision crossed his face._

"_Please," I whispered. _

_Before I disappeared completely, I faintly saw Leo nod._

_And I knew, dream or not, he would keep to that promise.  
_

_&*&*&*&*&*TNMT&*&*&*&*&*&*  
_

First chapter done! I think Mikey's a bit out of character, but I found it hard to write him with all this horrible things happening to him.

Reviews are welcome!


End file.
